Josie's Birth Story

I was looking through old posts and I realized this was sitting, unfinished and unpublished, in my drafts folder. Whoops! Better late than never, I guess.

Having a scheduled due date is surreal. Whether it's a c-section or (I would imagine) an induction, it's rather odd to be able to put your birth as a line item on your calendar.

Our surgery was booked for 11:30 but we were instructed to arrive 2 hours early. We woke up, I had time to do my hair and make-up, and we headed to the hospital with Luke in tow. Strangely, I had a nice calm drive to the hospital with both my babies, so I've never experienced the frenzy of running to the car amid contractions. (As you may recall, my water had broken with Luke but contractions wouldn't start for another 8 hours.)

After I was checked in and settled in my room, the nurse started my IV fluids and snuck me some ice chips. Bless her - I wasn't allowed to eat or drink after midnight so I was insanely thirsty. She also made sure to shave part of my bikini area to prep for surgery. This will be relevant later.

I wanted Luke to stay with me and Steven as long as possible. Right before we headed to the OR my mom took him to get some lunch and keep him occupied until we were allowed visitors.

one last photo as a family of three

At 11:30, after a parade of doctors and nurses had stopped by to walk me through the procedure, they wheeled me to the OR to start prepping me. Steven suited up in his hazmat scrub suit but then he had to wait outside the OR during prep. I wasn't happy about having to get my spinal block without him there for comfort, but the nurses helped me feel at ease. The numbness started to set in almost immediately then the doctors and nurses got to work sterilizing me, giving me oxygen and hanging the all-important drape. At one point I heard the surgeon lightly scold my nurse for being stingy with the bikini shave. I wasn't sure why this was relevant since I'd read the incision is at least an inch above a woman's pubic hair. Again, this will be relevant later.

Eventually Steven was allowed in and he was given a seat by my head. He had no interest in watching the action, not that I blamed him. Being mostly numb from the ribs down was odd because I could feel the sensation of movement, but couldn't tell exactly who or what was touching me. I have told friends it felt like someone was digging in their purse to find their keys. I had been chatting with the nurse anesthetist for a few minutes, then I asked when the surgery would start. The surgeon peeked over the drape and said she had started several minutes ago. I guess I didn't have to worry about feeling any pain!

Finally I felt a big pull and the baby was out! The doctor called out "it' a girl!" and I said "it's Josie." She cried instantly, and had the tiniest little cry. The nurse quickly bundled her in a cap and blanket then brought her to me. It was, of course, love at first sight.

For the second half of the pregnancy I had been told to expect a big baby. She had been measuring big, so big that the midwife predicted she would be 8 pounds at our 38 week c-section, but would probably get up to 9 pounds if we went full turn. When they told me her length and weight - only 6 pounds, 11 ounces! - I asked the doctor "Where's the rest of her? I was promised a big baby!"

The next few minutes were a blur - Josie was getting cleaned and crying, I was getting stitched up, and Steven was running back and forth taking pictures and showing them to me.

TMI moment: Around 34 weeks I had developed a cyst... down there. I had no idea, because it didn't hurt or itch, and I didn't even know about it until I had it pointed out during an exam. As the OB was finishing up my stitches she also spotted it. (Fun fact: even though all the action is centered around your belly, you still have to be naked and spread eagle for a c-section.) She said it would likely go away on its own after the pregnancy hormones had subsided, but if it didn't I could have it lanced at my 6 week check-up. Then I asked, incredulously "Is there any reason we can't go ahead and lance it now?" She laughed and said, "Oh yeah, might as well since you're already numb!" Well duh.

The last step was to wrap a big rubber bandage across my midsection to keep everything in place, then I was re-gowned and wheeled back to our recovery room. The best way to describe this bandage is like a big tennis grip. Stretchy on one side, very sticky on the other. After 24 hours I was ready to have the bandage removed. The nurse braced my skin, got a grip and RIIIIIIIIIP. In addition to removing the bandage, she also gave me a complimentary bikini wax. I told you the bikini shave would come up again. I've never had a professional bikini wax, but after that I'm pretty sure I don't want one.

She was born on Wednesday and we went home on Saturday. Since it's taken me so long to write this story, I will now drop the narrative and switch to bullet points since I can't remember what order these happened in.

- During my pre-op review I was told abdominal surgery can cause air to be trapped in the body which can cause some mild discomfort. Mild discomfort, my ass. The first time I sat up it felt like my shoulders were going to explode, I had no idea what was going on or how to fix it and I nearly had a panic attack. (I don't do well when I feel out of control.) My nurse, who looked 14, had no idea what was happening and had to get another nurse who had experienced a c-section for herself. The only cure is to lie down on a bed or couch and rock back and forth to work the air bubbles out. I have never felt more like a beached whale, moaning and wallowing on my side.

- As part of my post-op care I was offered Percocet (for incision pain) and Motrin (for general cramps and uterus pain). If you find yourself having a c-section, don't be a hero. TAKE THE PAIN MEDS. The Percocet kept me lucid but allowed me to get up and move around quickly. I truly believe the sooner you get active the sooner you start to feel like your old self again.

- Whether your baby comes out the sunroof or the front door, at first you are going to have trouble peeing on your own. The anesthesia got me out of whack and it was like my body forgot how to pee for a day or two. I had my surgical catheter for about 12 hours, but I still couldn't pee on my own for a while. Again, don't be a hero. If you feel like your bladder is about to explode ASK FOR A CATHETER. I let my pride talk me out of getting one, but once I got it I felt so much better. You guys, the nurse had to use a second pee bucket. Steven had been right there with me for this whole episode, so seeing that much of my urine go by in a bucket made him both horrified and oddly proud.

- Speaking of catheters, if you have to get one placed when you're not numb below the waist, make sure to ask for a labor nurse and not a recovery nurse. My lovely 14 year old nurse had never placed a catheter before (apparently they're not nearly as common on the recovery side of the hall) but since I was at a learning hospital she still got to try. Badly. Several times. Let's just say it felt like she was stabbing me with a milkshake straw. She finally gave up and got a labor nurse, who was much more skilled.

- Since Josie was born at 38 weeks she still had some very fine hair (called lanugo) on her back and shoulders. My first reaction was to panic that she would have a hairy back like her father. Fortunately it fell out within a few days and she is not, in fact, part werewolf.

- It doesn't matter how many babies I have (though I hope it's only these 2) it will never NOT feel weird to come home from the hospital with more people than you left with.

For more over-sharing, you can read Luke's birth story here.

Proud Mama Moment

Today, while I was getting changed out of my work clothes, I heard Luke go into the bathroom and use the toilet all by himself. He didn't ask for help and he didn't wait for me to remind him to go. He still needs assistance getting on and off the potty when he needs to sit, but he is a pro at peeing standing up!

Sorry for the toilet talk but I just had to tell someone. And by someone, I mean the internet.

En Vogue

If milk stains were the new black, I'd be the coolest girl in town.

Et tu, Utere?

Sorry, that was my attempt at a Caesar joke.

Me making Caesar jokes can only mean one thing... I'll be having a scheduled c-section. dun dun DUNNNNN

Even though I was beyond optimistic at 20 weeks, my placenta has decided to set up camp at Mount Cervix. Even though it quickly moved from full previa to a mere 2.25 cm overlap, it has not moved since around 24 weeks. My OB office has been diligently re-checking its position every 2 weeks but the darn thing had no intention of moving. And if it hasn't moved by now it's not going to. And as of this morning, the c-section is officially scheduled. I know people do it all the time, but picking your baby's birthday is surreal.

I'm not gonna lie. When the OB first told me, 4 weeks ago, that all signs were pointing to c-section, I didn't handle the news well. There was lots of ugly crying. My face was so streaked I had to go buy make-up on my way back to work because I looked like hell. At least I made it to the car before I broke down, so that counts for something. Right?

Now that I've had time to process things, I'm feeling mostly OK.

I will still do some grieving over the loss of a natural birth. Delivering my son, and feeling my body accomplish that, was one of the most powerful and satisfying moments of my life. Of course I'm sad I won't get to experience that again with this baby.

In addition, I'm still terrified of needles so the thought of an epidural and abdominal surgery gives me a mild panic attack. But I just keep reminding myself that all sorts of women have c-sections all the time and it's nothing I can't handle.

I've been doing some reading and it seems like scheduled c-sections are a breeze. They seem much less scary than emergency c-sections when the baby's at risk and you have mere minutes to emotionally process having to forfeit a vaginal birth. So there's a silver lining.

Because of the previa my OB doesn't want me to go into labor at any point. Apparently if I did it would be, in his words, a bloody mess. And, no, he's not British so bloody means bloody. Because of this my c-section will be several weeks before my due date. On one hand, yay I can finally meet the baby. On the other hand, OHMYGOD I'M NOT READY.

In the spirit of keeping my sanity, I've been keeping a running list in my head of all the c-section silver linings:
- Knowing exactly when the baby is coming will help me be prepared, both at home and at work.
- Having a firm day-of timeline will make it easier to coordinate the whole who's coming to the hospital when, and who's bringing Luke to meet the baby business. I felt very strongly that Luke should be the first family member to meet the baby, and I'd rather not wake him up in the middle of the night to do so.
- There will be no tearing/swelling of the lady business - I cannot stress enough how excited I am about this part.
- As magical and beautiful as the end result is, labor is long and hard. That's why they call it labor. At least I get to skip that part, and all the cervical exams and cow noises that go with it.
- I get to take pictures of Steven wearing the goofy booties and hairnet required in the OR.
- I am delivering the baby in the way that is the safest for him/her and me. At the end of the day, that's all that matters.

I'm No Wilford Brimley

Last time I was pregnant, I tried to get out of taking the glucose tolerance test. I was told I had to do it because I was fat. Luckily I passed my test and I avoided both gestational diabetes and a 12 pound baby.

This time around, even though I'm less fat, I resigned myself to having to take the darn thing and didn't protest. The results are in and, once again, I don't have the beetus. Hooray!

That is all.

P.S. - I keep thinking I'll take another bump photo, but then I keep not doing it. Terrible fail, I know. This is my last day of my 2nd trimester, so maybe I'll take one tomorrow to mark the occasion. We shall see.

Water Retention Blows

This time 3 years ago, I was nearing the end of my 2nd trimester and attending a bluegrass festival. As you may remember, I came home with the most disgustingly swollen feet I have ever seen. Good times.

Well, I am back again for another festival while hugely pregnant - apparently it's tradition - and, right on schedule, my ankles are starting to swell. I haven't even stepped foot on festival premises yet! It seems I will have Epsom salts and foot rubs in my near future. Sigh.

A Load Off My Mind

When I shared my 20 week update 2 weeks ago I wasn't 100% honest with you guys. I didn't tell any lies, but I didn't tell the whole truth, either.

As many of you know, the anatomy ultrasound takes around 30 minutes and the tech measures various parts of baby's body: heart, head, abdomen, arm and leg bones, etc. It's not just about revealing gender!

In my case my midwife discovered 2 things that were less than ideal, but the midwife explained that both issues were likely to go away on their own. Just to be on the safe side I had a follow-up Level 2 ultrasound (which I also had for Luke, for different reasons) with a specialist. We didn't share this news at the time because Steven and I didn't want to worry everybody over nothing. I'm sharing it now because we're confident there's nothing to worry about. I guess I could keep this to myself and no one would know the difference, but I want to document the pregnancy - good, bad, and ugly.

Issue #1 - Choroid Plexus Cyst
A CPC is a small pocket of brain and spinal fluid that gets trapped while the baby's brain is forming. A CPC could be a marker for Trisomy 18, if accompanied by other fetal defects, or it could be nothing and go away on its own. Kind of like how you get air bubbles trapped on your new screen protector, but they eventually work their way out.
The 20 week ultrasound showed 1 cyst and no other defects. The Level 2 ultrasound found no fetal defects and no remaining cysts. So either the original tech misread the scan or, more likely, the cyst was there at 20 weeks and reabsorbed on its own like my midwife said it would. The specialist OB gave me the option of further testing - a blood test and/or an amnio - but he saw no reason to be alarmed and thought the tests would only be for my peace of mind. I declined the testing because a) I'd rather not dig too deeply into things like that, b) I hate needles and c) I'm cheap. However, if the OB had deemed them necessary I would get the test without compliant.

Issue #2 - Placenta Previa
Having a placenta previa means the placenta is sitting directly over the cervix, blocking baby's only way out. All placentas sit over the cervix at first, but most will eventually move out of the way. According to my midwife roughly half move by 17-20 weeks, and the other half move a few weeks later. In the rare chance mine was to never move it would cause no harm to the baby, but it would mean a scheduled C-Section for me.
The 20 week ultrasound showed me at full previa position. No bueno. The Level 2 ultrasound showed that the placenta had moved and just a tiny bit of it was still blocking the cervix. Woo hoo! Keep your fingers crossed that it keeps moving in the right direction, but I think I'm out of the woods on that one.
The plan is to monitor the placenta with an ultrasound every 4 weeks, but I'm hopeful the midwives will soon be satisfied with its position.

Please note I didn't include links to info on either of these conditions. If you choose to google them, do so at your own risk. My midwife strongly urged me not to research them because I would scare myself silly with worst-case scenarios. I didn't and I'm glad I stayed ignorant on this one.

Potty Training Updates

So we're still sort of potty training, and for all my boasting I did in the past we still haven't made much progress.

We've abandoned the candy incentive because we have no problem getting him to go in the potty... as long as he has to go. We stand him up to pee constantly throughout the day, and he always pees even if it's just a little bit. However, he still won't tell us when he has to go. He'll go for days without getting his pull-up wet (including overnight!) and then he'll pee in his pants like it's no big deal.

Same with poop. If he has to go the moment we set him on the toilet he will gladly poop in the potty like he's supposed to. But if the urge strikes while he's wearing a pull-up, he'll gladly poop there, too. He will even do this while sitting with us playing or reading, it's not that he can't find us. Super frustrating.

We tried putting him in big boy underwear a month or so ago (and by we I mean Steven's grandmother that watches him during the day) but she gave up after he had an accident. Since I wasn't convinced he was ready, I didn't encourage her to stick with it. So yes, we're being wildly inconsistent, too, I suppose.

As I already mentioned, Luke stays with Steven's grandmother 5 days a week (we both work Monday - Friday now, thank goodness) and she also watches 2 other little boys, ages 3.5 and 2. The 3.5 year old is fully potty trained and the 2 year old is darn near trained himself. She's been putting all 3 boys on the potty since they were 18 months old, but for some reason Luke is the only one resisting the idea of telling someone he has to go potty. I've been hoping the peer pressure would help, but no luck.

I'm trying not to get too frustrated with him because he's only 2 and a half, and I've heard boys take longer to potty train. For reference, my MIL says my hubby didn't get the concept at all, but then something just clicked when he turned 3 and he more or less trained himself. I'm too impatient to wait until then. The real deadline is that I want Luke full potty trained, barring a few accidents, about a month or so before Baby #2 gets here. I've been considering one the 3 day training methods, but haven't decided which method or when we'll attempt it.

As difficult as the process has seemed at times, I feel the need to celebrate Luke's successes. Yesterday we went grocery shopping as a family. Luke needed to wash his hands so Steven took him to the men's room. He noticed the toilets were pretty low so he let Luke try to pee. Up until now he hasn't felt comfortable going to the bathroom when he's away from home, but this time he did it! We were so proud of him he got lots of high fives and I even let him have a free cookie from the bakery.

All you moms - especially those with boys - what did you do? Did you wait until they trained themselves or did you try an immersion weekend?

Making the Case for an Only Child

95% of the time, Luke is so incredibly funny/smart/cute that I wouldn't mind having 10 more just like him.

But then something unbelievable happens and I seriously ask myself "Do I really want another one of these?"

This is a tale from the 5 percent.

We have been working with Luke on peeing standing up. He's still not potty trained, meaning he will still go in his pull-up and he almost never tells us he needs to use the toilet, but if we put him on the potty he will gladly do his business if he needs to go. We added in the stand-up pee a few weeks ago and he's doing well. He seems so proud of himself when he does it.

One morning I stood Luke on his stool and aimed him at the toilet. I left the room to give him some privacy. A short time later I could hear him peeing and he shouted "I did it!"

I ran into the bathroom to praise him only to find that Luke had done more than pee. Yes, dear readers, Luke had pooped on the floor while standing up. Granted I had never told him not to do that, but that's because I thought I didn't need to.

I immediately sat him on the toilet just in case he wasn't done. When he saw his turds he said

"I dropped something on the floor!"

Yes you did, Luke. Yes you did.

Motivation

We're on the baby steps plan for potty training. I know I've been blabbing about it for a while but we still haven't taken away the diapers yet. However we have been doing some leg work - getting him on a potty routine, showing him the "big boy" underwear he got for his birthday, and resorting to bribery. We are using the strategy called "go potty, get candy." I'm just happy I got to use my pretty blue jar again.

For us, going pee in the toilet earns him 1 M&M and going poo earns him 2 M&Ms. I wasn't sure if he would grasp the concept at such a young age, but when you tell him to go sit on the potty he will say "go poo poo get candy," so I think we're OK.

Tell me, did you do potty bribery?

May I Take a Moment to Brag About My Son?

Because he is, at 18 months, in the process of potty training. And it was HIS IDEA (more or less).

Steven's grandmother (who watches Luke when we have to work) has been putting Luke on the toilet when she thinks he needs to poop, and she's been doing that for about 6 months. Sometimes he would poop in the toilet, but it wasn't actual potty training. She was just training herself to monitor Luke's schedule and body cues. We had been doing the same thing at home, but not as often.

Last week, however, all that changed. Steven, Luke and I were eating dinner when Luke said, unprompted, "poo poo, potty." We weren't sure if Luke really knew what he was asking for, but we sat him on the toilet anyway. Lo and behold, that child pooped in the toilet! I couldn't have been prouder. Or so I thought.

pre-game snack

A few days ago I took Luke to a local children's museum. We hadn't been there more than an hour when Luke said "poo poo, potty again." I took him to the restroom and sat him on the toilet. The seat was too big so he couldn't get comfortable and therefore wasn't in the mood for a deuce. I put a diaper on him and told him it was OK to poop in his diaper if he needed to. Then we played out hearts out and met my mom for lunch.

By the time we got home at 2:00 Luke still had a poop-free diaper. I put him on the toilet and he went right away. Can you believe it? He held it for 3 hours because he didn't want to go in his diaper! I wasn't planning on potty training any time soon, but he seems ready and willing so we're officially in potty training mode. I'll let you know if we make progress (or have set backs)!

Be Careful What You Wish For

It might just come true.

Just a few days ago I was bemoaning my lack of blogging material and making excuses for myself as a blogger. Little did I know that some juicy blog fodder was headed my way. If you don't have children, but think you might some day, you will see this as a cautionary tale. If you do have children, then you will see this as just another day in paradise. This post is, generously, provided without pictures.

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Last night Steven was cooking dinner, I was writing a blog post and Luke, having already been fed, was happily toddling around the kitchen. He likes to "help" us cook. It's adorable, really. Just as I was fully enjoying our perfect little domesticity, I was abruptly interrupted by a loud "What is that?"

"What?" I asked, caught off guard.

"Ugh, what IS that?" was Steven's reply.

"OK, really, what are you looking at?" I say as I walk into the kitchen.

"I don't know."

"Is that baby poop or cat vomit?"

"I don't know."

Friends, you've never really lived until you have seen something on your floor and actually not known whether it was expelled from you cat or your child.

After some brief - and disgusting - examination, it was decided that the mess in question was, in fact, baby poop. Which was remarkable because Luke was wearing both a diaper and overalls at the time.

We sprang into action: Steven stepping in and then cleaning up the poop while I stripped Luke of his clothes. It was at this point that I realized one side of his diaper had come unfastened and was now acting as a large, urine-scented ankle bracelet. We then reconvened at the bath tub where we all vigorously scrubbed the assorted poop-afflicted parts of our bodies.

I will never wish I had something interesting to say, ever again.

My Latest Bit of Mom Genius

You guys, I have just figured how to put on diaper cream. Without sticking my finger on Luke's butt crack!

I know, it sounds gross but it really is the solution to all of life's problems. You see, we have a strict "no diaper rash" policy in our house, but I really, REALLY hate having to put finger on his, um, danger zone.

You too can enjoy the benefit of my genius by following these simple steps:
1) Use the tube to apply a small dab of diaper cream directly to the danger zone.
2) Take hold of one butt cheek in each hand. Your baby's, not your own... weirdo.
3) Rub/squish the cheeks together until the diaper cream is spread around, or your baby is laughing hysterically. Whichever happens first.

I justify this on the internet in my head by telling myself I'm saving money by not wasting the diaper cream that ends up on my hands. But really, I just don't want to touch his crack.

The Tale of the Missing Period

So, I'm not exactly sure what motivated me to write this but I feel like it needs to be said. When I was going through this I googled and googled but couldn't find any helpful advice so I am going to tell my story in the hope that someone will be helped by it some day.

April 2009 - September 2009 : trying to get pregnant, getting my period as usual

October 2009 - July 2010 : pregnant, not getting my period (obviously)

July 2010 - March 2011 : breastfeeding, still not getting my period
I went back on low-dose birth control at 6 weeks post-partum, just to be safe. I had read in books and on the internet that it was possible to resume my cycle while I was breastfeeding, especially once I started to wean Luke. Even when we were down to only one feeding a day, I was still period-free.

March 2011 - May 2011 : no longer breastfeeding, but still no period
In April I posted a nasty little April Fool's Day joke. Of course several people said that I was tempting fate and would probably get pregnant again right away, whether I wanted to or not. The joke started to seem not so funny when I got to week 4 of my birth control pack and still didn't get a period. I silently panicked for a few days before I told Steven what was up. I assumed he would told me to stop being paranoid. Instead he suggested I buy a pregnancy test, so that's when my panicking doubled. I peed on the stick and, thank goodness, it was negative. I started googling and all my results suggested I was pregnant or had some sort of horrible disease.

I called my midwife and she told me it is uncommon to get a period while taking low-dose birth control. She also said I was supposed to have switched to regular birth control once I stopped breastfeeding. Um, that information would have been useful a long time ago. I switched to regular birth control and kept my fingers crossed.

May 2011 : I got my period. YAY!
Thanks to my new birth control, I got my period as scheduled and now I know for an absolute fact that I'm not pregnant. I don't think I've ever been this relieved to get my period. Yes, I would welcome any all children sent my way but this really isn't the right time for us.

So that's my not-very-dramatic story about my missing period. Like I said, I needed this information several months ago and couldn't find it, so I want to put it out there in case someone else is in my situation.

Thank You For Being A Friend

Before I had Luke I had all sorts of hopes and dreams for myself as a mother my boobs . They were fairly small and perky, so I didn't worry about post-nursing sag. Nowhere for them to go, right?

Wrong.

I thought my small boobs wouldn't be able to sag much; not enough material. Unfortunately that is not the case. Through the MIRACLE OF SCIENCE my boobs have found a way. It turns out going from empty to REALLY EFFING FULL over and over and over again can deflate even the perkiest boobs. In honor of the occasion, I have named them Blanche and Dorothy.

That's right. The girls are still feisty, but they have packed up their caftans and their slouch boots and migrated south.

I'm Hanging The Girls Out To Dry

I am done with breast feeding. I'm not particularly sad or excited about it, I'm just done. As I've said before, I was breast feeding Luke with no set stopping point in mind. I just knew I would nurse him until he let me know he wanted to stop.

He wants to stop.

The main reason we're stopping is because his body seems to need more food to sustain him; milk alone just doesn't seem to cut it. If he gets milk (or formula) only, he is hungry again within an hour. If he gets some oatmeal or veggies before his bottle he is happy as a clam all afternoon.

The second reason we're stopping is because it's getting increasingly frustrating to nurse him, and sometimes I feel like I'm nursing a 6-armed monkey. For one thing, he's so big he hardly fits in my lap anymore. Also, the more mobile and independent he gets, the less he wants to lay in my lap and drowsily nurse. Even when he gets a bottle, he doesn't curl up in a little ball of snuggles. No, he lays on his back - holding the bottle himself, by the way - squirming, kicking and looking around the room. The only time I can still nurse him (somewhat) effectively is first thing in the morning when he's not quite awake yet. At night is a whole different story. With the cats, TV and ceiling fan all doing very interesting things, there is no way he wants to turn his back on the action and get some face time with my boobs.

The last, but still VERY IMPORTANT reason we're stopping is because IT HURTS. He has two teeth now (and I'm sure there's more where they came from) and he occasionally bites me with them. Not my favorite time of day. Even worse, he'll do this horrible, painful thing whenever he gets distracted: he will whip his head around, while he's still latched on, which causes a not-so-pleasant slurping effect. OUCH.

As bad as some of that sounds, I'm actually happy about it. The last thing I wanted was a baby that never wanted to stop nursing. I didn't want to have to pry him off with a crowbar, or explain to him "mommy loves you, but she wants her boobs back now."

So, a chapter of his childhood has come to a close, but another door will open in its place... probably the one to Victoria's Secret. Can I tell you how sick I am of my nursing bras?

The Cleveland Browns Have Cheerleaders, Right?

The family took a trip to Maryland last weekend. I don't know if it was the stress of travel or something he ate, but he hadn't pooped since Saturday afternoon. As our Monday afternoon flight grew nearer, all I could think was "Don't poop on the plane. Don't poop on the plane." Seriously, have you seen how tiny an airplane bathroom is?

He didn't poop on the plane - whew! - but by the time we got home it was clear he was constipated. At first it was funny, what with his little grunts and his poop-face, but as we got closer and closer to bedtime I got worried.

Finally, he started making poop-face right before bed and I thought "At last, this is it!" I gave him a few minutes, then excitedly rushed to change his diaper (first and last time THAT will happen). After all that work, there was one tiny little turd, laying there and mocking me. "Damn you, poop gods!" I shouted, shaking my tiny fist at the sky.

Tuesday morning, same story. Lots of straining on Luke's part with no poop to show for it. By now he was so backed up he was crying. Frantically, I googled.

Feed your baby 'p' foods; prunes, peas, pears, etc. Already did that.
Give your baby some water to drink. Yep, did that too.
Give your baby some Karo syrup. Didn't have any.
Stimulate the area by inserting a rectal thermometer. REALLY didn't want to do that.

Despite the fact that the all-knowing Internet told me not to do anything drastic without first discussing it with a pediatrician, I had no choice. Luke was in pain, and if the only way to help was to violate our thermometer, so be it.

Steven opened Luke's diaper while I looked around for our thermometer and Vaseline. Then, as if his butt knew what was about to happen, the spirits moved him.

He suddenly started pooping - hooray! - but DEAR GOD YOU CAN'T UN-SEE THAT. There was lots of cheering on our part, but also, WHY CAN'T I STOP PICTURING IT??

So, long story short, I have now become a cheerleader for poop.

P.S. - Luckily, the old diaper was still laying there because the changing pad was 3 seconds away from its worst day ever.

2 Balls, 1 Strike

No, I'm not talking about baseballs. Or footballs. Or even basketballs. I am talking about baby balls.

Luke has been very interested in his hands for the past month. He chews them, and clasps them together, and sometimes he will just stare as he moves and wiggles them. On the development 'to-do' list, we can put a big check next to 'finding his hands.'

He hasn't quite found his feet yet. Every now and then he will accidentally grab a foot, but then he will let go and can't find it again. However, he has learned to grab something... in between.

Whether it's bath time or diaper time, he grabs his crotch at least once. It was particularly fun when, during a diaper change, he reached down and grabbed a handful of poop-covered balls, then tried to stick his hand in his mouth. Oy.

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Post Is About You

According to the baby books, a possible side effect of pregnancy is extra hair growth. Yes, your hair can look full and lustrous, but it won't last because all that extra hair will just fall out after the baby is born.

I never had the boost in hair growth, but do you know what? My hair fell out anyway. I am losing hair like it's MY JOB. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize it's mostly falling out in the front. SEE:

You think that's embarrassing? I have another bald spot just like it on the other side. Most people probably wouldn't even notice it, but I don't care. I made an appointment with my hairdresser and got some bangs to hide my receding hairline.

Here's to hoping it grows back. If not, I'm getting a buzz-cut and a wig.

Product Review - gDiapers

I've already given you guys the basic run-down of our gDiapers, but I promised you guys a follow-up review. So, a review you shall get. I apologize in advance for the long-windedness. I know I had lots of questions when I was trying to pick a diaper system, so I am hoping to pay it forward with my new diaper knowledge.

For the first 3 weeks Luke was in disposables, for several reasons. Firstly, we had to wait until his cord stump fell off. (The newborn sized disposables the hospital sent home had a handy cord notch built right in.) Secondly, we had to wait until he was big enough. The size range for a size Small gDiaper is 8-14 pounds, but they still seemed too big until we was around 8.5 or 9 pounds.

NOTE: gDiapers does make a diaper for newborns but I didn't buy any. Mainly because they were insanely hard to get. At the time, the company only carried a limited stock and they ALWAYS ran out within a few hours of re-stocking their shop. Also, it seemed impractical to invest in cloth diapers he would outgrow at 8 pounds. Lastly, I thought the first few weeks would be crazy enough without the extra step of learning how to use fancy-schmancy diapers. I was right.

After his stump came off we switched to the gDiapers and I have been very happy with them. Here's how we use them:

AT HOME: When Luke is home, we use the gDiapers exclusively. We have a stash of 11 pants and 17 snap-in liners and that will typically last us a week. So, no, I'm not constantly doing laundry (see below). Sometimes I pre-load several diapers ahead of time or sometimes I just load them as I need them. It's such a simple process it doesn't really matter which way I do it. All wet inserts get composted. I flush the dirty inserts, but Steven thinks that's a pain so he tosses them in the trash. They biodegrade quickly, so it's not a big deal.

AT GRANDMA'S: We bought some extra gDiapers for Grandma to use at her house. Last I checked, she has 3 pants and 5 liners. She does laundry more often than I do, so that small amount does her just fine. Because she keeps multiple kids, flushing and composting is more than she has time for so all of her inserts go in the trash. Yes, in a perfect world, I would collect them at the end of the day and then flush or compost them myself, but this isn't a perfect world. I've got better things to do with my time.

ON THE ROAD: I only carry disposables in the diaper bag. I am not partial to a particular brand. I use any free diaper that comes my way - samples, gifts, "hand-me-downs" from other moms, whatever. If I have to buy them myself, I go with an eco-friendly brand. If I know we'll be away from the house for several hours, I change Luke into a disposable before we leave. It just makes changes easier if I don't have to figure out what to do with the used gDiaper should it get soiled. If the errands are going to be quick, I take him out in a gDiaper and hope we can get home before he needs a change. I also stick with disposables when we travel. There is enough baby gear to cart along without having to worry about the cloth diapering stuff.

PERFORMANCE: So far, I have no complaints. We've only had 1 or 2 blow-outs, but I am confident they would have been messy no matter what kind of diaper was in the line of fire. With a wet diaper, the liner and pants stay clean and only the insert is replaced. With a dirty diaper, sometimes the liner stays clean and sometimes it gets dirty. This is built into the system - the liner is detachable so it can be replaced if the pant is still usable. With a really messy diaper, all bets are off and everything ends up in the laundry. But, like I said, diaper explosions happen no matter what and you can't fault the gDiaper for that.

We did have an issue with absorbency as Luke was on the verge of switching from Small to Medium. Several times a day he would pee so much that he would saturate the insert and leak onto the pants and his clothes. I found that cutting an insert in half and placing it in the front of the diaper, underneath a full insert, would give us a boost in absorbency. As soon as we switched him to size Medium diapers the problem stopped. With future babies, I might size them up before they officially outgrow the small if I have the same problem.

LAUNDRY: Everything with poo on it gets pre-treated before it goes into the laundry hamper. The pants get a few squirts of Spray-N-Wash and the poopy liners get hosed down over the toilet.* Then I machine wash and air dry both the pants and the liners. gDiapers recommends air drying because it will extend the life of both products. It's really not a hassle. In warm weather I hang them on a clothes line outside and when it's cold/rainy I hang them on a drying rack in front of a window. Not only does this protect the gDiapers and save me some dough on my power bill, but there is an added bonus: natural sunlight has wonderful bleaching powers and my diapers look brand new after a few hours of sunbathing!

*My hospital sent me home with a wonderful little peri-bottle to clean my lady parts while I was still too sore/swollen/mangled to use toilet paper. I tell you this because that spray bottle is PERFECT for rinsing poop off of diapers.

PURCHASING: As far as I know, gDiapers are only available on-line. There may be some baby boutiques that carry them, but I haven't found a list of such stores. I buy all my gDiaper products (pants, liners and inserts) from Diapers.com. They carry just about anything you'd ever need for a baby with fast and cheap shipping. They also keep track of previous orders and offer a "quick re-order" option. I cannot recommend them enough.

The pants are sold as singles and in packs. It's more economical to buy the packs, but you only get orange and cream colored pants. If you want other colors you have to buy them individually. I went the cheap route, because he's a boy and nobody sees his diaper. However, I could understand wanting to buy cute patterned diapers if they're going to show under a girl's dress.

Each diaper comes with 1 snap-in liner. Since the liners generally need washing more often, they are also sold separately. (I have bought an extra pack of liners in both sizes - a life saver, really.) The inserts are sold in packs of 40, or you can buy a case of 160. Trust me, always buy in bulk. You can never have too many inserts. It's not like they don't keep. As you get started with a new size, definitely buy a bundle. You get 6 pants and a case of inserts at a discounted rate.

Whew. That was longer than I thought it would be. I feel like I have covered every angle, and then some, but if you have any questions leave me a comment and I'll try not to talk your ear off. If you need more info or want to talk to other gMoms and gDads check out their website and Facebook page.

As usual, nobody (not even Spray-N-Wash) paid me or perked me for this review. It's just little old me and my experience. I love gDiapers and diapers.com so much I had to spread the word!