Funny Friday - May 24

#1
I'm gonna spell sleep. Z... Z... Z...

#2
Me: What's your kitty's name?
Luke: Pop-Tart. I'm gonna pop that old tart!

#3
Nona: You can watch 1 'Bob the Builder' before bed.
Turns on tv, History Channel comes up
Luke: I don't wanna watch 'Pawn Stars,' I wanna watch 'Bob the Builder!'

#4
I hear something big and strange.

#5
Me: What kind of party do you want? What do you want on your birthday cake?
Luke: Candles.
Me: You can have candles. What else? Aliens?
Luke: No.
Me: Dinosaurs?
Luke: Yes.
Daddy: Rockets?
Luke: No.
Daddy: Planets?
Luke: Yes! That's a good idea, Daddy! I want all the planets on my cake!

30 Weeks

I am 30 weeks as of yesterday. 30 down, 10 to go!

For some reason this pregnancy is flying by compared to the last one. We haven't done anything to officially prepare for the baby - no baby clothes have been pulled from storage, washed, and put in the dresser; we haven't dragged the carseat out of the attic yet; we haven't pre-registered at the hospital or packed our bags; and we haven't bought the few things we know we still need, like a double stroller. I'm starting to panic but we still have 10 weeks to get our shit together.

That's me at 29-ish weeks. Forgive the obnoxious dance pose. I have 12 years of dance pictures under my belt. It cannot be helped.

Maternity Clothes: Surprisingly I'm still able to blend my maternity clothes with my pre-preg wardrobe. All my pants are maternity, but the skirt above is just a stretch cotton skirt. It works as long as I scoot the waistband below the bump. Shirts are a mix of both, mostly maternity. Pool season is upon us and I will be wearing both my maternity one-piece and my bikinis. Swimmers beware.

The biggest wardrobe difference between my pregnancies is how my clothes make me feel. First time around I wore a lot of hand-me-downs from friends and family. While there was nothing wrong with those clothes, they didn't reflect my style and I never felt like myself. This time, partly because some of my old maternity clothes were too big, I took the opportunity to pick up pieces that fit in with my pre-preg wardrobe. My rule is: if I wouldn't wear the non-maternity version of a piece of clothing, then I shouldn't have to wear it now. By sticking to my guns and not wearing freebies I feel much more confident and attractive this time around.

Cravings/Aversions: I've been craving chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Luckily for me the Harris Teeter version is decent so I don't have to make the trek out to Kilwin's to fulfill this one. My iron has been on the low side so I'm trying to eat more salads, but my cravings would prefer cheese fries. Such a conundrum. Seafood still grosses me out.

Symptoms: Heartburn and indigestion, but not as bad as the first 2 trimesters. But I still have Tums stashed everywhere, just in case. It's getting increasingly hard to get comfortable at night. My feet are a teensy bit swollen, but nothing like last time. Baby kicks are getting less cute and more painful as the little one runs out of room and those elbows have to go somewhere. I've entered the phase of baby head-butting my cervix, and the sciatic pain that follows - always fun - and I swear I had some low-grade Braxton Hicks contractions last night. Basically it's nothing earth shattering, but I get less comfortable every day. Waddling is happening.

OB Appointments: My stupid placenta still hasn't moved out of the way. It's gradually moving, and mostly out of the way, but if it doesn't move from its current position I will be having a C-Section. The midwives keep checking it every 3 weeks, so at least we're monitoring it. If a C-Section becomes a reality I can assure you there will be at least one post about me whining about that. Most of my appointments are short and sweet. I passed my glucose test and, other than the frequent ultrasounds, tests have been minimal. I'll be going every week pretty soon and I'm determined not to let them tell me any dilation/effacement numbers until I'm actually in labor. I got my head full of false hope at 37 weeks last time so this time I don't even want to know.

Prenatal Yoga

Do you have a work-out buddy? I do. You should get one, two even. Mine is my neighbor and we get together once a week to do yoga or Zumba at my house, plus the occasional weekend run when I'm not hugely pregnant. It's great because it gives us an excuse to hang out - we always end up chatting and catching up after our cool-down - and it keeps us accountable to doing something fitness related at least once a week. To call her merely a work-out buddy is a desservice to her because we're good friends, but the work-out buddy is a facet of our time spent together.

I promise there's a point to this...

Last night was yoga night. Since neither of us is confident enough to lead a yoga session on a weekly basis, I thought I would find some yoga videos on YouTube to guide us. I narrowed my search to prenatal yoga, thinking it would be just like regular yoga, but without any lay-on-your-stomach poses.

Well, that's what I get for thinking. I chose 2 videos - without screening them ahead of time - that were very new age (even for yoga) with instructions to "cradle the baby with your arms" and to "sway back and forth because babies love to feel the rhythm." My neighbor, being not-pregnant and having no belly to cradle, spent lots of time with her hands in namaste position, for lack of anything better to do with them. Thank goodness she's a good sport and didn't mock me endlessly for making her participate in the most awkward yoga session of her life.

Anyone know of any maternity-friendly yoga videos that aren't quite so baby focused? I'm all about the baby, but I would like more of a challenge next time.

Funny Friday - May 17

#1

I have to catch that big squirrel! We need to stop that squirrel from eating my big strawberry.

#2

Me: Can you put this on the kitchen counter?

Luke: Kitchen counter, coming right up!

#3

I let Luke drink a bottled water by himself, to see if he could do it

Ooh, a water bottle. I'm so glad I like it!

#4

Kid at Playground: You can't catch me! Na-na-na-boo-boo!

Luke: I have a boo-boo! I have a boo-boo!

#5

we were at a pond where we saw some turtles sunbathing on a log

Hey turtle, why don't you go swimming like mommy and daddy and me do in the swimming pool?

#6

Those turtles are on their way to show and tell.

#7

taking a walk around the neighborhood

Mommy, we have to watch out for cars, motorcycles, and airplanes, ok?

Funny Friday - May 10

#1
skyping with Luke and Nana
Me: Say 'hi' to the baby.
Luke: Hey baby! I'm gonna change your diapers.

#2
to his cousin, Emma
Come here, princess. I will teach you to dance.

#3
Cousin Emma was driving her power wheels, Luke was riding shotgun
There is no way out. Everybody panic!

#4
Cousin Emma has trouble saying 'L' sounds
Emma: Uke! Uke!
Luke: I'm not a hook. I'm a boy!

I'm No Wilford Brimley

Last time I was pregnant, I tried to get out of taking the glucose tolerance test. I was told I had to do it because I was fat. Luckily I passed my test and I avoided both gestational diabetes and a 12 pound baby.

This time around, even though I'm less fat, I resigned myself to having to take the darn thing and didn't protest. The results are in and, once again, I don't have the beetus. Hooray!

That is all.

P.S. - I keep thinking I'll take another bump photo, but then I keep not doing it. Terrible fail, I know. This is my last day of my 2nd trimester, so maybe I'll take one tomorrow to mark the occasion. We shall see.

Funny Friday - Apr 26

#1
I found Luke sitting on the potty and, for some reason, he wasn't wearing any clothes
Me: Are you naked?
Luke: No.
Me: You look naked to me.
Luke: I'm not naked. I'm wearing socks.
It's funnier when you picture us pronouncing it "nekkid" since we're Southern like that

#2
Me: Come on, Luke. Let's go water the plants.
Luke: OK, Mommy.
Me: Leave your sandwich inside. (By sandwich I meant the wooden sandwich he was playing with)
Luke: Bye bye, french toast. You stay there.

#3
Luke was getting frustrated because he couldn't pull up his pants the right way
Me: It's OK. You don't have to make it perfect. Just keep trying.
Luke: Perfect is best. I know that for a fact.

#4
Twinkle, twinkle little... hippopotamus.

Water Retention Blows

This time 3 years ago, I was nearing the end of my 2nd trimester and attending a bluegrass festival. As you may remember, I came home with the most disgustingly swollen feet I have ever seen. Good times.

Well, I am back again for another festival while hugely pregnant - apparently it's tradition - and, right on schedule, my ankles are starting to swell. I haven't even stepped foot on festival premises yet! It seems I will have Epsom salts and foot rubs in my near future. Sigh.

Funny Friday - Apr 19

I didn't blog last week because I was traveling for work so, a) I wasn't home to hear the funny and b) I didn't have time to write anything.

#1
Luke: Where's Daddy?
Me: He's working.
Luke: He's working on his beautiful project!
At the time Steven was working on installing an attic ladder which, while useful and well-done, isn't exactly beautiful.

#2
I want a whole bunch of spoons!
Not sure about this one...

#3
I met my 2 guys at a Mexican restaurant for dinner.
Oh, hey, Mommy. Do you want some chips? You can dip them in the cheese or salsa.

#4
Me: Do you need to go potty?
Luke: No.
Me: Are you sure?
Luke: I could say no to a face like that.

Funny Friday - Apr 5

#1
Luke was playing with a tightly stretched bungee cord
Luke: I strummed that string!
Me: What does it sound like?
Luke: A bass!
Me: That's right!
Luke: A bass sounds like a cello.

#2
enjoying a mini-golf family outing
Steven: Come on, Luke, pick up your golf stick.
Luke: No Daddy, it's a club.


#3
Nana: I could go home and get on the treadmill while I watch the Red Sox.
Luke: Watch the Red Sox? I didn't know all that.
This is especially funny because this is exactly the type of banal thing we say to him when he's babbling.

#4
Daddy says "good grief!" and Mommy says "aw, dang it!"
It's funny 'cause it's true.

#5
Daddy: Do you want a bubble bath?
Luke: No.
Me: How about a pudding bath?
Luke: No.
Daddy: Juice bath?
Luke: No.
Me: What kind of bath do you want?
Luke: A chocolate bath.
Me: Chocolate milk or regular chocolate?
Luke: Chocolate milk.