Josie: Mommy, brush my hair! It's crazy.
Me: Luke, stop playing with your wee-wee.
Luke: But it's my favorite thing to do in the whole world!
Josie: What's that?
Me: Tweezers. I start to pluck my eyebrows
Josie: No! No hurt you, no hurt you!
Luke tells a joke to a total stranger at the store
Luke: That's my joke. I'll warn you - I'm hilarious.
Josie lands at the bottom of the big slide at the playground
Thank you! Do you like my trick?
trying to pull her shirt over her head
Luke: Ow! It's stuck on my brain.
Me: Are you done going potty?
Josie: I made a big poopy. And a small poppy. And another small poopy. And another small poopy.