#1
Much like me when I was a kid, Luke spends as much time sorting his toys as he does playing with them.
Luke: Josie, don't mess up my food rainbow.
Me: Toys are meant to be played with, so let her play.
Luke: She can play, she just can't mix up my piles.
Me: Of course she's going to mix them up - she's a baby.
Josie: Hey! I'm not a baby, I'm a big girl!
Me: Fine, she's a toddler and toddlers mix things up.
Luke: Actually, she's a juvenile.
Me: Anybody else want to correct me?
#2
Josie was showing her plush stingray to our friend Amanda
Amanda: Is that a boy or a girl?
Josie: No. It's a stingray.
#3
I may or may not have gotten an apple watch. Treat yoself, am I right?
Josie: What's that?
Me: It's my new watch. You went with me to buy it last night, remember?
Josie: Yeah! Where's your black watch?
Me: I took it off so I can wear this one.
Josie: pause I watch a tv show on it?
#4
Luke: Put that on your Facebook page and lick it.
a) I don't know what this means, b) he said this in the meter of "put that in your pipe and smoke it," and c) I have no idea where he heard that phrase
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