Funny Friday - May 1

#1
Luke: I realize it's morning but I'm still a little bit tired.
Me: You can go back to bed if you want.
Luke: Well, I have to see who it was running quietly down the hall. It can't be Pop-Tart. All she does is lay around all morning and all evening and all afternoon. It might be Yo-Yo.

#2
Luke: Let me smell your finger.
Me: My finger?
Luke: Yes, your finger has a beautiful smell coming out of it. sniffs It smells like iron because humans are made of iron. sniffs Mine smells like coal because humans are made of carbon.

#3
Mommy, why do you always talk about IKEA?

#4
Me: Are you dressed?
Luke: Everything except my socks and underpants. But I am wearing my pants already.
Me: Well, you're going to have to take your pants back off to put your underpants on.
Luke: Mommy, that's just silly.

#5
Luke: Daddy, they're all arguing about the Hope Diamond.
Steven: Who's they?
Luke: My stuffed animals.

#6
Luke: Where's Mommy?
Steven: She's at a sign convention.
Luke: What's a sign convention?
Steven: It's where people who make signs get together and talk about signs.
Luke: That sounds BORING.

#7
Me: After you finish in the bathroom you can see what I brought you from Vegas. It's in your room.
Luke: I guess that place IS special.

#8
Luke: When I grow up I'm going to be a chef.
Me: A chef? I thought you wanted to be a marine biologist.
Luke: That was last week. I change my mind a lot.

#9
Luke got in trouble for being disruptive during circle time.
Isn't it weird that I got a Happygram from school today?

#10
Me: Did you take your vitamin this morning?
Luke: Nope.
Me: What about yesterday?
Luke: I don't remember.
Me: I'll just give you one to be on the safe side. If you take too many you'll grow a whole foot overnight and then you won't be little anymore.
Luke: But, Mommy, I have to grow up.
Me: No, I want you to be my baby forever.
Luke: But I want to be a scientist.
Me: You can still be a scientist.
Luke: No, I have to grow up. Babies can't be scientists.