Funny Friday - Slacker Sunday Edition

I am SERIOUSLY behind on Funny Friday posts. My apologies. So let's just skip the excuses and dive into the toddler hilarity...

#1
Watching me put on my makeup
Luke: You're making your green eyes brown.
Me: No, I'm putting eyeshadow on my eyelid. See? My eye is green but the skin is brown now
Luke: Now you're coloring your chin!
Me: No, I'm coloring my lips. This is called lipstick.
Luke: Why?
Me: Because it's pretty.
Luke: That's not pretty. It's red!

#2
Luke stands on my lap
I'm taller than the cabinet!

#3
Me: What's in here?
Luke: A baby.
Me: Is it a boy or a girl?
Luke: A girl.
Me: What should we name her?
Luke: Duck.
Me: Duck?
Luke: Yes. Duck duck duck duck goose.
Me: We can't name her that. She needs a girl's name. What's a girl name you know?
Luke: thinks for a second Mommy!

#4
Luke: Whimpering
Daddy: What's wrong?
Luke: Turtle doesn't want me to read 'A Christmas Carol.' Turtle wants to hear 'Curious George.'

#5
Can we get in the car and go to preschool?

#6
We made it to the fair. Where are all the robots?

#7
Um, Steven, there's a lot more things to clean up.

#8
I'm scared of muffins.

#9
Luke comes into my room, with blueberry stains on his face
Me: Did you eat my blueberry muffin?
Luke: Yes.
Me: I was going to eat my blueberry muffin.
Luke: Mommy, I was sharing with you!