A Love Letter, 6 Months In The Making

Dear Steven,

When I was pregnant, I just knew I would love motherhood. The fact that Luke has brought joy to my life is no surprise. What I didn't expect was just how much I would love seeing you as a dad. Six months into our journey, the bond you have with our son still delights me every day.

So many books and blogs I read tried to prepare me for a rough road ahead. I heard horrible tales of dads not bonding with their babies right away, or moms being afraid to leave the baby alone with dad. One book even suggested the idea of daddy boot camp. Allow me to paraphrase:

"Several weeks after the birth of your baby, once you feel recovered, you need to enforce Daddy Boot Camp. Tell your husband you are going out for some solo time - an hour, a day, even a weekend - and he's not allowed to say no. And don't let him call for reinforcement - he has to make it through boot camp without his mother. With nobody to help him, he will finally learn to do all the tasks he has avoided. After boot camp he will truly appreciate all the hard work you do!"

OK, there is so much wrong with that concept, but that's not the point.

What I am trying to say is that I never felt like I had to force you to spend time with our son. For that matter, I had no problem running errands and leaving you alone with Luke when he was only 5 days old. No, I haven't left the two of you alone for a whole weekend yet, but I've never had to fly solo for that long either, so that seems fair.

What I have witnessed couldn't be farther from the nightmares I read about. You willingly change diapers, prepare and give bottles and take care of bath time. Have you done anything worthy of sainthood? No, but then again, neither have I. (OK, I admit it, I occasionally play the 22 hours of labor card, but that's probably about to expire.) You are just an active participant in Luke's life; you are my partner in parenting. No 50's stereotypes here.

I could go on for days, but all I need to say is "thanks for being a good dad."

I love you.

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