Dude, Where's My Rack?

When I found out I was pregnant I looked forward to three things:

1- Having a cuddly, squishy baby to bring home
2- Sporting a cute little (then not so little) baby bump
3- Growing giant boobs

Being a lifetime member of the IBTC* I relished the thought of having the impressive rack I had always dreamed of.

Let's see where I am, goal-wise:

1- If sonograms are to be believed, there is indeed a baby squirming around in there
2- I have a mini-bump that seems to get a bit bigger and firmer every day
3- Boobs? Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I am still, infuriatingly, fitting into my pre-pregnancy bras. What to Expect said that my breasts could swell up as early as 6 weeks.** Some helpful moms in forums agreed that it would happen by the beginning of the second trimester. Well, here I am in the 17th week and I have yet to have my much-promised boob-a-palooza. Literally every other mom I've come in contact with (books, blogs, magazines, forums, etc) has talked about needing the sweet comfort of a maternity bra, but I'm still holding down the fort with my stupid, tiny under wire bras.

This is all very Are you there God? It's me, Margaret and for that I apologize. I just want my giant tits!

*If you don't know what that means, clearly you never attended middle school.
**Get crazy sore and wake me up in the middle of the night? Yes. Blossom into womanhood? Not so much.