When I'm bad my Daddy spanks me. Mommy just yells.
Daddy wanted the kitties to live outside. That's hard. Mommy wanted the kitties to live inside. That's soft. pause Daddy did it Mommy's way.
Luke: Mommy, what was you best part of the day?
Me: Today I got a Red Hat reward.
Luke: You did? I didn't know!
listening to the radio
Kesha: I'm talkin' bout - everybody getting crunk, crunk / Boys tryna touch my junk, junk / Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
Luke: Like a skunk, skunk!
Grandpa: Tell your Nona to quit drinking so much wine, or she won't be able to take your for a bike ride at halftime.
Luke: But drinks give you energy!
Nana's house, at bedtime
Luke: Can I weigh myself?
Nana: Yes. You weigh 39 pounds.
the next morning
Luke: I want to weigh myself again.
Nana: Now you weigh 38.8 pounds. You lost two tenths of a pound overnight! I wish I could lose weight in my sleep.
Luke: Nana, that's Nutrisystem.
Nana: Where did you learn about that?
Luke: From Nanny's commercials.