#1
When I'm bad my Daddy spanks me. Mommy just yells.
#2
Daddy wanted the kitties to live outside. That's hard. Mommy wanted the kitties to live inside. That's soft. pause Daddy did it Mommy's way.
#3
Luke: Mommy, what was you best part of the day?
Me: Today I got a Red Hat reward.
Luke: You did? I didn't know!
#4
listening to the radio
Kesha: I'm talkin' bout - everybody getting crunk, crunk / Boys tryna touch my junk, junk / Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
Luke: Like a skunk, skunk!
#5
Grandpa: Tell your Nona to quit drinking so much wine, or she won't be able to take your for a bike ride at halftime.
Luke: But drinks give you energy!
#6
Nana's house, at bedtime
Luke: Can I weigh myself?
Nana: Yes. You weigh 39 pounds.
the next morning
Luke: I want to weigh myself again.
Nana: Now you weigh 38.8 pounds. You lost two tenths of a pound overnight! I wish I could lose weight in my sleep.
Luke: Nana, that's Nutrisystem.
Nana: Where did you learn about that?
Luke: From Nanny's commercials.
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