Funny Friday - Jul 18

#1
The fireworks are like a fashion show. That one looks like a dandelion. It's the fireworks' birthday party, and he invited all his fireworks friends.

#2
Me: You can't come to Wal-Mart without your shoes. Do you want to stay here all by yourself?
Luke: Yes. I'll stay here and drink all the milk I want.

#3
Steven: Do you want to hold some frozen shrimp?
Me: Um, no.
Steven: Luke, do you want to hold some frozen shrimp?
Luke: Yes. takes the shrimp Here, Nana.

#4
Steven: OK, we're going to play quiet mouse. It's you, me, and Josie and we're going to see who can be quiet the longest, starting... now!
Josie: immediately aieeeeeeee
Me: Well, Josie's out.

#5
Steven took Luke to a public restroom and Luke was watching Steven pee
Daddy, you have a huge wee-wee!
I will neither confirm or deny that comment ;)

#6
Luke was playing with one of those electronic books that sings and talks
Luke: Mommy, this book keeps singing, even when I'm not touching it.
Me: That's OK, you don't need to be scared.
Luke: I'm not, but I don't want it to wake Josie up.
Me: Aww, that's so sweet of you. You're such a good big brother.
Luke: I'm a good big brother, but not the best big brother.

#7
Luke: Mommy, I got extra sauce on my lips.
Me: That's ok, just lick it off.
Luke: I don't want to. I want somebody else to lick it off for me.
Me: You want somebody to walk up to you and lick your face?
Luke: No, not a person, a dog. I want a dog to lick the sauce off.
Me: Ok, but we don't have a dog.
Luke: You have to find one.
Me: You want me to find a random dog off the street and let it lick your face?
Luke: Yes!

#8
Luke: Mommy I can't unbutton my shirt
Me: Come here, I'll help. I unbutton his shirt Look at that, I can do it with 1 hand.
Luke: I can do it with 18 hands!

#9
Luke: Can I climb this chair?
Me: No.
Luke: Can you look out the window so I can climb this chair?

#10
When Dr Gopan touches my wee-wee it tickles.
For the record, Dr Gopan isn't a pervert. She has to check his wee-wee (along with the rest of his body) during his check-up.