NOTE: If you gave birth to me or my husband, you might not want to read this post. Just a suggestion.
You know that thing I did to get pregnant in the first place? That's what I'm here to talk about. Seriously, Mom, stop reading.
I just went in for my 6 week post-partum follow-up. My weight is good - 7 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight! - my blood pressure is stellar and my uterus is small and firm like it's supposed to be. Lucy gave me a pelvic exam to see how my tears have healed. There was a spot that was still a smidge not healed, but for the most part everything looked good.
The good new is I can have sex whenever I want to.
The bad news is I can have sex whenever I want to. This TERRIFIES me.
What if it hurts like hell? What if I make him stop and all I can offer is some awkward hand action? What if I'm all stretched out from GIANT BABY HEAD and we have that whole hot dog in a hallway situation? What if the baby's making adorable sleeping noises over the monitor and that's all I can focus on?
Clearly couples overcome this - I'm sure the dads of the world aren't nearly as neurotic as the moms and are all 'Get over yourself' - because of the low percentage of only children. But that doesn't make the prospect seem any less scary to me now.
Also on the agenda at my appointment was addressing my birth control needs. Since Steven and I want our kids fairly close together Lucy recommended we skip any long term methods. We settled on birth control pills, but they have to be the progesterone-only pills until I stop nursing. After reading the informational pamphlet, these pills are a little scary. We have to use a physical barrier (condoms, diaphragm, etc) until I have been on the pills for a month. I have to take my pill at the exact same time everyday, and if I miss a pill - and by miss a pill, they mean take it more than 3 hours after my scheduled time - we have to supplement with a physical barrier for a week. This is not the lazy woman's pill like I was on when we first got married. I have to be a pill taking Nazi unless I want a set of Irish twins. Luke is adorable; pregnancy and childbirth were magical, life affirming, blah blah blah, but I'm not ready for an encore yet. So I set an alarm on my phone to tell me to take my pill everyday.
Just so you know, there will not be a follow-up post wherein I share just how scary post-baby sex is or is not. As much as I love to over share with you guys, I have to draw the line somewhere, and that line is just short of my sex life.