The dream lust is back, and this time my sleep-self has moved past attractive actor types. I am now, in my sleep, lusting after high-strength antacids. That's right, my heartburn is so bad that I often dream about the perfect over-the-counter, chewable staple of pregnancy.
For those of you not well-versed in the hierarchy of Tums, allow me to introduce you.
Original Tums: Brittle, chalky and available in mint and fruit "flavors" - if you can call pink and green chalk a flavor.
Tums Smoothies: a bit softer to chew, slightly less chalky, sweeter and available in exciting flavors such as Assorted Tropical Fruit, Berry Fusion and Cocoa and Creme.*
Tums with Extra Awesome (that I made up): tastes like Sweet Tarts with the soothing sensation of full fat ice cream.** None of the familiar chalkiness, so you don't have to chase them with a liter of water to get the grit out of your teeth. Also, it relieves heartburn the instant it touches your tongue. None of this waiting around crap.
Clearly I have issues. However, if you happen to know - or are willing to stalk - someone at the Tums Corporate Office, tell them to call me.
*See, it has the European spelling, so it must be good.
**Sweet Tarts as an ice cream topping! I think I'm on to something.