Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Men often joke that they think their wives have been body-snatched during pregnancy. "Who is that farting, snoring woman sleeping next to me?" they ask themselves. With the morphing body, mood swings and increased gaseous emissions it's no wonder men start wondering "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?"

Here's the secret thing men don't joke about: women are just as baffled by the body snatching as they are. Things are radically different and sometimes we have no idea why.

As I progress in my pregnancy, I am realizing that my body is no longer my own. I am merely the landlord of a short-term lease and I am at the whim of my tenant.

This morning I got out of bed at the usual time. Peed. Ate breakfast. Peed. Laid out my outfit for the day. As I was about to step into the shower I suddenly felt faint and sat back down on the bed. Then, like a ton of bricks, I was hit with a wave of exhaustion. So tired I almost cried at the thought of getting dressed and going to work. I tried reading a bit but that only made it worse. I had no choice but to take an hour-long nap, a mere hour after waking up. It didn't matter that I have a job and that I have shit to do at said job. My body wanted sleep and it wanted it NOW.

After my nap, I felt fine. I got up, peed, showered, dressed, peed and went to work like nothing was wrong, only I was an hour and a half late. Luckily my boss is cool and I can more or less set my own hours.

Of course, this is only a preview to being at the whim of a screaming, pooping baby so I better get used to it.

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